I realized something today

I doubt this is going to make much sense, but I realized something a few minutes ago.

I miss my brothers and sisters.

Now, this really doesn't make any sense. I have never met them. I've never been in their presence. I don't know anything about them at all. As a matter of fact, the closest I've probably ever been to them was while my birth mother was pregnant with me before she went to live with her parents. I don't know how far along she was when that happened. Yet each time I start to think about them, I start missing them.

We're having a conversation on the adoption.com forum (link to the left) and I asked "Sometimes, don't you wish you could "adopt" as siblings other adoptees you find on these forums? People who already understand how screwed up we can be?" I guess I kind of mean that. The desire to be connected to siblings is so strong sometimes.

What ever happened to that cool "in control" ambivilance I used to have? I think I lost it around the 1,000th post I clicked on because "maybe" the post author was talking about me.