One adoptees' attempt to explore the conflicting feelings of having been adopted, and the impact this has had on her life, her choices and her experiences. Welcome to "The Adoption Void."

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Location: Northeast, Ohio, United States

I am a female adoptee born in May of 1971. I initially began this journey to explore my feelings about my adoption and to decide if I wanted to seek out my birth family. I have since been happily reunited with my birth siblings! I do have more than one blog on blogger.com - one for adoption, one for everything else. Unless adoption has touched your life, you'll probably find the "everything else" much more fun to read!

Monday, December 12, 2005

Double plunge for the price of one

I took two plunges today, and I'm not sure what drove me to take them both at the same time.

First, I called ChildServ aka Lake Bluff for information on reobtaining my non-identifying information. I had it about 15 years ago, but lost the file during a move. I'd like to have it again even though I remember much of what it said. Oddly, when I called and told the receptionist what I was calling about, she transferred me to the voice mail for Human Resources. I'm wondering if she didn't understand what I was seeking. I've not received a call back, so I'll try again tomorrow.

Second, I posted my DOB on an adoption forum. I'll probably try and put myself in their registry as well. I have a lot of trust in the Universe. While I may not yet be ready to 'find' them, I guess maybe I'm open to being found. At least on some level. Baby steps.

I've been going back and reading the archives on the adoption forum. I suppose I'm looking to see if anyone is looking for me. I'm on page 36 of 75. I've read a few stories of reunions gone bad, and some of reunions that went well for everyone. I find it sad that one of the few blogs that relate to adoption on the blogspot search engine is a blog done by a cousin of someone who is adopted and thinks his adopted cousin is spoiled. This guy speaks very authoritatively about adoptees, using a lot of generalities. Too bad he is so far off the mark so much of the time.

Since I'm using a Gmail email account, Google has given me invitations to give away to others allowing them to create free Gmail accounts. I think I'm going to offer these to adoptees. Given a few of the 'horror stories' I came across, there is certainly something to be said for maintaining a level of anonimity until you're ready. So if you are an adoptee, drop me an email if you want an invitation so you can create a Gmail account to use in your search.

As I was writing my DOB post on the adoption forum, I was thinking "what are the chances someone in my birth family will see this?" I think I've mentioned before that it's entirely possible that no one but my birth mother and her parents even knows I exist. However, I would not doubt that my older siblings use the internet and computers with some proficiency. There is no way to say this without it sounding as if I'm bragging, so I'm just not going to worry about 'how' it sounds: I am of above average intelligence. My IQ is 165. According to my non-id information, my parents were also of above average intelligence. Ergo, it is likely my siblings were as well. This bodes well for the possibility of them utilizing the internet as a tool. Which means that IF they know about me and IF they desire to find me, it's likely they will employ similar methods.

Then again, I tend to be a procrastinator. If they share that trait, this process could take us a lifetime. LOL

Well, what will be will be. At the very least, the journey should be interesting.

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