One adoptees' attempt to explore the conflicting feelings of having been adopted, and the impact this has had on her life, her choices and her experiences. Welcome to "The Adoption Void."

About Me

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Location: Northeast, Ohio, United States

I am a female adoptee born in May of 1971. I initially began this journey to explore my feelings about my adoption and to decide if I wanted to seek out my birth family. I have since been happily reunited with my birth siblings! I do have more than one blog on blogger.com - one for adoption, one for everything else. Unless adoption has touched your life, you'll probably find the "everything else" much more fun to read!

Friday, January 13, 2006

Ouch, that hurt

I'm sitting here waiting for my hair treatment to finish soaking in, and I started looking through threads on http://www.eboards4all.com/74706/ which is run by "Sunflower Bmom."

I come across a post, midway down the page - "Musician Dad Looking For Daughter," and my heart stops. Could it be? I remember that my old non-id said my birthfather was a musician - I've believed for years I inhereted my talent from him. Excitement builds. I click on the link.

404 File Not Found error.

There are dozens of these on that page. Seems like every post that "might" even possibly be for me - 404 File Not Found.

It was posted by some man named "Kevin" on 08/03/04

Ouch, that hurt. This is why hope and excitement are so dangerous. How can a stupid 404 File Not Found error hurt so damn much?

It's just not fair.

posted by Heartened | 1/13/2006 12:46:00 AM | 1 comments

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

A wave back to you!

I think that you and my son have many commonalities. He and I have spoken about trying to "protect one's heart". In early reunion, he mostly tried hard to have a really casual attitude about me - as though I didn't really matter that much to him. And I think that is part of "protecting your heart" to not allow yourself to care too much about something or somebody.

However, I think extending your heart enough to someone to risk a loving relationship is a risk worth taking. Not indiscriminately, but...

As he's learned to trust me though, I believe he has allowed himself to care about me more. It's like he knows now than I am "worthy", safe and that my love for him is unconditional. Hmm, unconditional love, is that an offer many can refuse?

Hugs,

Cookie

I think that you are handling this whole deal in a really smart way.

January 13, 2006 4:18 PM  

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