One adoptees' attempt to explore the conflicting feelings of having been adopted, and the impact this has had on her life, her choices and her experiences. Welcome to "The Adoption Void."

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Location: Northeast, Ohio, United States

I am a female adoptee born in May of 1971. I initially began this journey to explore my feelings about my adoption and to decide if I wanted to seek out my birth family. I have since been happily reunited with my birth siblings! I do have more than one blog on blogger.com - one for adoption, one for everything else. Unless adoption has touched your life, you'll probably find the "everything else" much more fun to read!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Big steps = Big fears

Well yesterday was a significant day in this journey I've undertaken.

I sent in my registration to ISRR and to the IARMIE (Illinois Adoption Registry Medical Information Exchange) since I was born in Illinois.

They both went in the mail yesterday. I was procrastinating a bit. LOL

The IARMIE allows us to include a 2 page written statement. That took me a while to write, but I'm glad I did. It was kind of an interesting experience. I must have rewritten it half a dozen times because I just wasn't happy with it. It felt forced. So here's what happened:

The receptionist at the plant my husband is at is a notary. One of the forms for IARMIE requires notarization. So hubby made arrangements for the receptionist to do the notary for me. I was supposed to be there at 11:30 AM. and everything had to be completed before I got there. On the advice of a new friend, I set aside the written statement for a few days because it was just causing me too much stress. Well you know what happened - I woke up yesterday morning and realized I only had a few hours to write it!

I sat down at my laptop and just started thinking. Then I started typing.

It FLOWED out of me. I didn't have to stop once. I didn't have to backup, reread, reword. I knew exactly what I needed to say and was able to do so. It ended up perfect.

I drove up, had it notarized, and immediately put it in the mail along with my ISRR forms before I could rethink everything for the thousandth time. LOL

From what I understand, it will take IARMIE about 10 days to send me my non-id from the state (hospital of birth, etc.) I can wait 10 days. I've waited this long.

I feel really good about having done this. I'm excited to see what sort of information I get back. I still don't think I'm going to be told "We have a match!" but I do feel as if I've taken the steps I needed to in order to get some answers while still staying true to myself. I can't figure out which I'm more afraid of - that there won't be a match or that there WILL be.

It's scary, but it has been a good day.

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