Big steps = Big fears
I sent in my registration to ISRR and to the IARMIE (Illinois Adoption Registry Medical Information Exchange) since I was born in Illinois.
They both went in the mail yesterday. I was procrastinating a bit. LOL
The IARMIE allows us to include a 2 page written statement. That took me a while to write, but I'm glad I did. It was kind of an interesting experience. I must have rewritten it half a dozen times because I just wasn't happy with it. It felt forced. So here's what happened:
The receptionist at the plant my husband is at is a notary. One of the forms for IARMIE requires notarization. So hubby made arrangements for the receptionist to do the notary for me. I was supposed to be there at 11:30 AM. and everything had to be completed before I got there. On the advice of a new friend, I set aside the written statement for a few days because it was just causing me too much stress. Well you know what happened - I woke up yesterday morning and realized I only had a few hours to write it!
I sat down at my laptop and just started thinking. Then I started typing.
It FLOWED out of me. I didn't have to stop once. I didn't have to backup, reread, reword. I knew exactly what I needed to say and was able to do so. It ended up perfect.
I drove up, had it notarized, and immediately put it in the mail along with my ISRR forms before I could rethink everything for the thousandth time. LOL
From what I understand, it will take IARMIE about 10 days to send me my non-id from the state (hospital of birth, etc.) I can wait 10 days. I've waited this long.
I feel really good about having done this. I'm excited to see what sort of information I get back. I still don't think I'm going to be told "We have a match!" but I do feel as if I've taken the steps I needed to in order to get some answers while still staying true to myself. I can't figure out which I'm more afraid of - that there won't be a match or that there WILL be.
It's scary, but it has been a good day.
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