tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-196609362011-04-21T14:05:28.111-04:00One adoptees' attempt to explore the conflicting feelings of having been adopted, and the impact this has had on her life, her choices and her experiences. Welcome to "<a href="http://adoptionvoid.blogspot.com">The Adoption Void.</a>"Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.comBlogger761100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1144183919753803712006-04-04T16:51:00.000-04:002006-04-04T16:51:59.770-04:00

For info about an alternative, click here.

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1144091823908726312006-04-03T15:17:00.000-04:002006-04-03T15:17:05.193-04:00

I am such a follower. LOL  I’ve decided to move my blog onto the new WordPress server. Don’t forget to update your bookmarks.  You don’t want to miss anything. 

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1143981427829026302006-04-02T08:37:00.000-04:002006-04-02T08:37:07.840-04:00

About 8 months ago, maybe a little more, I discovered this neat little piece of software you can (SAFELY!!! I promise!) install – it is called “Stumble Upon”.  What this is, is something called a  “browser extension.”  Your browser is what you view websites in – you’re probably using Microsoft’s Internet Explorer, most people do.  If you have any significant amount of computer expertise, you’ve

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1143676293238803012006-03-29T18:51:00.000-05:002006-03-29T18:51:33.426-05:00

If we could reduce the world’s population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all existing human ratios remaining the same, the demographics would look something like this:60 Asians  12 Europeans  5 US Americans and Canadians  8 Latin Americans  14 Africans  49 would be female  51 would be male  82 would be non-white   18 white 89 heterosexual  11 homosexual  33 would be Christian 67 would

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1143317072562905112006-03-25T15:04:00.000-05:002006-03-25T15:04:32.773-05:00

I think I mentioned in an earlier post that I asked my sisters to do DNA testing with me.  This is best, I believe, for all our sakes.  I want us to KNOW.  I don’t want there to be doubts floating around in our heads, impacting our relationships down the road.  This is too important for there to be any mistakes.  My one sister (J) told my other sister (R) that she is afraid to become emotionally

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1143069673154538932006-03-22T18:21:00.000-05:002006-03-22T18:21:13.260-05:00

When I had that dream, him sitting on the bench, wearing that hat, in the towering halls – were you there, showing me what would be?On the day I first met him, when I couldn’t help but think how cute he was – were you there, smiling, waiting to see if I would remember?When one arm went left and the other went forward before impact – were you there, keeping me safe, protecting me as I protected

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1142903442120092932006-03-20T20:10:00.000-05:002006-03-20T20:10:45.516-05:00

This is probably the longest post you’ll ever read from me.  Sit back, grab a cuppa joe, and get ready – I’m going to go out on a major limb, here.  I’m going to discuss my spiritual beliefs within the context of my adoption and my life.  I’m doing this because Kim Kim asked on her blog, “What have you humans done for your adoption healing work?”I hate not being “in control.”  I hate the idea

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1142670719845083872006-03-18T03:31:00.000-05:002006-03-18T03:31:59.910-05:00

I’ve fallen behind on updating the Linky Links, so pleaseeeeeee be kind and post a link to your blog (or cool blogs you read regularly) in the comments so I can get you (them) added!  I’m beggin’ here!  All links added to Linky Links also get posted on the Soul of Adoption website!  (For which, by the way, I’m still looking for columnists!)

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1142626475632661922006-03-17T15:14:00.000-05:002006-03-17T15:14:35.693-05:00

Timeline – “Sometime” 1993:  Requested non-id from agency“Sometime” 1993:  Attended a few adoptee support meetings“Sometime” 1993:  Was convinced (read: manipulated, guilted, etc.) to not search for birth family and stupidly, I went along with it“Sometime” between 1993 and 1998:  Lost copy of non-id from agencyDecember 6th, 2005:  Joined adoption.comDecember 7th, 2005:  Made my first blog

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1142541740915593162006-03-16T15:42:00.000-05:002006-03-16T15:42:20.986-05:00

I found them.Yes, you read that right.  I found them.  Last night, middle of the night, through sheer happenstance and coincidence, I found them.  I found her, her new husband, her ex-husband and all her kids.  It even looks like she had a baby boy about a year and a half after I was born with her new husband.  Cool, a baby brother!  There are six older siblings.  So if her new husband’s son is

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1142472757253363882006-03-15T20:32:00.000-05:002006-03-15T20:32:37.316-05:00

This entry is about medical issues.  Specifically, medical issues I’m dealing with.  This post is NOT for the “faint at heart.”  I’m going to be talking about some gross stuff here.  What is important is that if I’d had access to my birth family right from the start, it would not have taken me over 10 years to find out what is happening with my body, why I have to suffer with pain all the time,

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1141770230955731762006-03-07T17:23:00.000-05:002006-03-07T17:23:50.996-05:00

Doggies!  LOLThis has nothing to do with human adoption, sorry!  I’m going to gush on about the doggies hubby and I are going to be adopting next year.  Here’s a few pictures of the breed to whet your appetite. This is a Goldendoodle pup.  They are a cross between Golden Retrievers and Poodles.  I really like the coloring in this one – it seems to be a cross between an apricot and a red.Look at

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1141349126780774412006-03-02T20:25:00.000-05:002006-03-02T22:36:03.023-05:00

AfrIndie Mum had this meme on her blog, so I thought I’d give it a shot.1. Born at Swedish Covenant hospital in Chicago, placed with Lake Bluff Homes for Children.  Lucky me, I was adopted.  2. My grandmother died, which still makes me sad because she was the only other redhead in my adoptive family.  I wish I’d known her.3. We moved into the house I’d live in until I was 174. I was still

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1141148599910174372006-02-28T12:43:00.000-05:002006-02-28T12:43:19.953-05:00

Have you seen it?  Do you even know what it is?  Well let me tell you about it – then I’ll tell you where to find it!“It” is a new song/video created by Darryl McDaniels/Lovelace aka Run DMC and Sarah Mclachlan.  It’s a remake/rewrite of the old Harry Chapin song, “Cats In The Cradle,” remember that?Darryl recently did a special for VH1 about his adoption journey.  Yup, he is “Just Like Me!”  It

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1140931383850707762006-02-26T00:23:00.000-05:002006-02-26T00:23:03.910-05:00

Hi, it’s me, your daughter - writing again!  I’ve decided that I’m going to blog letters to you as things come to mind.  I want you to be able to see where I’ve been when we finally meet again.I’m learning more about you everyday.  I hope you will laugh with me over some of the coincidences and ironies that I’m finding as I search for you.  I’m hoping that at least one of my brothers or sisters

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1140753459712494722006-02-23T22:57:00.000-05:002006-02-23T22:57:39.783-05:00

I just realized it has been a week since I’ve blogged anything.  Blame it on the hubby – he has been home most of this week as he is transitioning into his new job.  He “officially” starts at 8 AM tomorrow morning.  It has been an eventful week – and yes, I know, I’ve got a dozen or more emails to answer!  I’ll do my best to get to them this weekend.  I’ve been driving around most every day

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1140223829100914912006-02-17T19:50:00.000-05:002006-02-17T19:50:29.110-05:00

Manuela had this on her blog, asking her readers to give feedback on how they perceive her.  I thought it was pretty neat and decided to put one up for myself.  So, if you’d please, visit this link, and pick a few words you think describe me.  You might consider creating one yourself, too – I think it’s kind of cool to get a glimpse into how we see each other.  Have fun!

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1140207869823908102006-02-17T15:24:00.000-05:002006-02-17T15:24:29.873-05:00

I’ve mentioned before that I travel with my husband for his work.  We’ve been doing this for years.  We were on the road so much traveling from plant to plant that we ended up selling our house and putting our things into storage.  We could not justify paying a mortgage on a place were “visited” only a few weeks a year.  Ever since then, we’ve lived in extended stay hotels and driven anywhere his

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1140127332225389682006-02-16T17:02:00.000-05:002006-02-16T17:02:12.293-05:00

Dear mom and dad,Guess what I received today?  I received a letter containing the information you provided to the agency when you placed me.  Want to know what I learned?About mom I learned:You had a case of appendicitis when you were pregnant with me.  Was that scary for you?  Were you afraid?  Did the surgery hurt?  Did you recover quickly?  Was your doctor good?  They must have known what they

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1139958501409987202006-02-14T18:08:00.000-05:002006-02-14T18:08:21.536-05:00

I had an appointment with the eye doctor today.  First exam I’ve had in several years.  Loved the doctor.  Since it looks like we will be permanently relocating to southern Michigan in the very near future, it will be easy for me to keep seeing this particular optometrist.  Yeay!  Feels like I’m putting down roots again.Since this was my first visit, I had to fill out the usual patient

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1139821089586049412006-02-13T03:58:00.000-05:002006-02-13T03:58:09.636-05:00

Somewhere in the world, there are 5 or 6 adults who are probably sleeping right now, dreaming their dreams, perhaps snoring, maybe lying beside their spouses or lovers.  They are my brothers and sisters.Somewhere in the world, 5 or 6 adults probably enjoyed a Sunday afternoon, perhaps cooked dinner with their families, maybe watched a little television.  They are my brothers and sisters.Somewhere

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1139656728937850742006-02-11T06:18:00.000-05:002006-02-11T06:18:49.663-05:00

Don’t get too excited, this isn’t about adoption. LOL  I just got off the phone with my best friend T.  Read the previous two posts for background.  I’m on cloud 9 over here, grinning like a Cheshire cat.  What is of primary importance to me is that despite my foolish behavior, he still loves me, is still the same friend he always was.  It was as if no time had passed at all, we picked up where

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1139629489344298772006-02-10T22:44:00.000-05:002006-02-10T22:44:49.393-05:00

In my last entry, I blogged about my self-created drama with my best friend.  Well ladies & gents, he wrote back.  And he still loves me.  Did you ever have someone you were close to and you had a really special “uniquely yours” way of communicating the specialness of your relationship?  Some cutsie words, a little ritual, something?  We have one of those things – well, several, actually – but a

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1139597754814362812006-02-10T13:55:00.000-05:002006-02-10T13:55:54.843-05:00

I am supposed to be sleeping, but it is 1:20 in the afternoon and I’m awake.I have a best friend.  I want you to know that I have a best friend.  I have known him for, what, -counting backwards– shit, this seems impossible, almost 10 years?  Holy crap.  Wow.  Seriously, you’ve no idea how mind blowing that is.  Ok, anyway.  My best friend, I’ll call him “T” was the best man at my wedding.  My

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1139545135155698482006-02-09T23:18:00.000-05:002006-02-09T23:18:55.163-05:00

Do you ever look at the faces of people on TV and wonder if you’re related?I have a favorite artist.  He is a photographer.  His work is definitely not for everyone, but I am always moved by his pieces because I understand what is behind them.  His name is Spencer Tunick.  Don’t click on that link if you are uncomfortable with the idea of seeing hundreds of nude bodies in places like Grand

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1139339917693768812006-02-07T14:18:00.000-05:002006-02-07T14:18:47.680-05:00

So I realized that maybe I should actually talk a bit about Soul of Adoption and what I’m trying to accomplish with it, especially since I’m hoping the same people who I know read my blog will be involved in taking SoA to the next level.  I first bought the domain and hosting so we could create a space for people to submit their stories about their own experiences with adoption with the intention

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1139249135398912162006-02-06T13:05:00.000-05:002006-02-06T13:05:36.733-05:00

OK, this has nothing to do with me being adopted as a child.  It does, however, have everything to do with my having adopted a city.  My “about me” says Northeastern Ohio because that is where I am, currently.  In a hotel in NE Ohio.  Home is Michigan, just outside Detroit.  When we’re not travelling for his job, Michigan is where hubby and I call home.Detroit (and Michigan) are my adopted home.

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1139242104648025422006-02-06T11:08:00.000-05:002006-02-06T11:08:24.670-05:00

We have a new “blogging buddy” to welcome and to add to our list – Peter O’Connell, author of the “Acts of Resistance” blog.  Our friend Kim Kim found him first, now we just need to drag him out to explore this wonderful circle of friends we’ve found here.  So pop on over to Peter’s Blog and introduce yourselves, invite him over to sit a spell on yours.  Most importantly, let this dear man know

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1139213368807498382006-02-06T03:09:00.000-05:002006-02-06T03:09:29.153-05:00

My friend Wraith asked some very probing questions over on his blog tonight.  I thought I’d give the ones asked of adoptees some consideration and see where I’m at today.  I know my answers today are very different than they would have been a few months ago when I first started on this path.  By answering them today, I give myself an opportunity to look back at my responses in a few months and

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1139155955814964842006-02-05T11:12:00.000-05:002006-02-05T11:12:35.833-05:00

Today isn’t a “feeling happy” day.  Perhaps it is the weather, maybe it is some of the sites I’ve been reading on, I honestly don’t know.  But I’m really feeling that void today.  There is this space in my heart where “mom” and “dad” and “brothers” and  “sisters” belong.  More space reserved for “granparents.”  Even more for “aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews.”  And though Wraith will

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1139142247192907932006-02-05T07:24:00.000-05:002006-02-05T07:24:07.756-05:00

No, seriously.  I’m a geek.  I don’t think you can spend much time looking at my blog or at my websites without seeing it.  I love computers.  I love everything to do with computers.  I’ve been teaching myself how to use computers (for most of my life) and the web (since the old BBS days) and every neat cool thing that has come along since.  I’ve self-taught myself how to write in multiple

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1139032464874746292006-02-04T00:54:00.000-05:002006-02-04T00:54:24.880-05:00

Please visit Wraith's blog for more information. This sounds like it will be well worth watching!

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1139030999662306822006-02-04T00:29:00.000-05:002006-02-04T00:41:29.073-05:00

Ok, I had to make some changes to how I had the linkylist code laid out.So here are the updated linky lists.If you use the "Scribe" template (which means your blog looks similar to mine), please use this code.If you use any other template (which applies to most of you), please use this code.It is really important you use the right code, otherwise, you'll end up with images on your site which do

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1139030106411517092006-02-04T00:15:00.000-05:002006-02-04T00:15:06.473-05:00

Please do.

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1138999361404309032006-02-03T15:42:00.000-05:002006-02-03T15:42:45.090-05:00

Do you know what this weekend is? It is the Superbowl. You know how the little "About Me" thing says "Northeast Ohio"? That's where I am, right this minute. But that's not home. Home is Michigan. Home is a few miles outside of Detroit. Where the Superbowl is being played in less than 48 hours. Where thousands upon thousands of partying football fans have converged. Usually, I miss home.

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1138992483937684252006-02-03T13:48:00.000-05:002006-02-03T13:48:05.616-05:00

Our "blogging buddy" Kim Kim contacted Carrie Craft at adoption.about.com to tell her about some of the blogs we, the adoptees, have been maintaining. Carrie has some fabulous lists of blogs from across the plane, and has now added a list of adoptee blogs. You can see the list here. Don't forget to check out her Top 10 Placing/Birthparent Blogs list and her Top 10 Adoptive Parent Blogs list as

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1138954933104241592006-02-03T03:22:00.000-05:002006-02-03T03:23:47.726-05:00

So I'm not sure how many of you have noticed, but a few of us have been working on a new website. Soul of AdoptionIt is still in the early stages of development, and I started another blog to update progress on the site. Like I said, early stages.Anyway, to go along with it, I started a "Soul of Adoption" webring. I know some of you are already members of the Blogging Birthmothers webring, and

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1138877751904699192006-02-02T05:55:00.000-05:002006-02-02T05:55:59.326-05:00

I am reading a book by my friend Bob - it is titled "Not Remembered, Never Forgotten." If you are able to, I highly suggest ordering a copy regardless of where you are on the adoptive plane. Bob expresses something on page 51 which I haven't been able to put into words. It really describes this "connection" I feel with so many of my "blogging buddies." This material is, of course, copyrighted

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1138863182006700072006-02-02T01:53:00.000-05:002006-02-02T01:53:02.013-05:00

I don't know how many of you have checked out the very cool blogs I've linked to on the left, but I try and read them every day. I'm still catching up on some of the archived posts in them, but as I do so, I am just more and more inspired all the time. These are some VERY neat people!Today, I was reading on "Crunchy Granola." If you haven't checked Susan's blog out yet, make sure you do. She

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1138851398641184592006-02-01T22:36:00.000-05:002006-02-01T22:36:38.646-05:00

I learn so much from blogs and from the people who write them. Manuela wrote to me about the show "Grey's Anatomy." In particular, she wanted to call my attention to a recent episode. I don't watch this show, though I understand it is very popular. Manuela wrote a post describing what took place in the episode about adoption. You can read it here. Now, as I said, I did not see this episode

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1138837695117941422006-02-01T18:48:00.000-05:002006-02-01T18:48:15.153-05:00

My "blogging buddy" Manuela asked if I have blogged about my adoptive parents. I realized that other than a few brief mentions and a complete paragraph, I haven't said much about them or about my childhood. I believe therapists call this "avoidance."Growing up in my adoptive family sucked. So much so that I am loathe to refer to them as "family" or "mother" or "father." But I do so for

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1138796748269624052006-02-01T07:25:00.000-05:002006-02-01T07:25:48.296-05:00

Struggling to keep my fingers from typing out some very nasty comments.In the last few days, I've worked hard on creating the links list you'll find to your left. It meant viewing dozens of blogs and websites and actually reading through them - I will not link to a site I am uncomfortable with. It takes a lot to make me uncomfortable, I guess my standards aren't very high. LOLWhen you look on

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1138684039450301732006-01-31T00:07:00.000-05:002006-02-04T00:30:24.250-05:00

As promised, here's where you can get the code for the links list I use. I'll update the code every so often to reflect new sites I've added. When you look at the code, you'll notice several lines without links - those won't show on your blog, they just give you some extra space to add links of your own. Make sure you read through this completely!Edited - please read my update "Linky List Part

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1138648218207842742006-01-30T14:10:00.000-05:002006-01-30T14:10:23.046-05:00

I swear this is relevent to this blog. LOLI've used Google as my home page for I don't know how many years. Long time, though. It is one of the few megabillion dollar companies whose business practices I generally agree with. (Good thing since Google owns blogger, 'eh?) And I probably spend 20 hours a week using Google for web searches. I'm always looking up new stuff. I love Google! Ok,

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1138574860227406132006-01-29T17:47:00.000-05:002006-01-29T17:47:40.340-05:00

If you haven't seen this piece by Ben Hoyle, check it out. "Where I Could Have Been" - Thanks Kim Kim for the link!

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1138443553726016402006-01-28T05:19:00.000-05:002006-01-28T05:19:13.800-05:00

I'd like to ask my readers a big favor - if I am not already hosting a link to your blog on this site, could you please add a comment to this post and include a link to your blog? I would really like to gather up as many adoption-related blogs as possible. Please also include links to other adoption-related blogs you know of. No reciprocal link is required, incidentally. You do not have to

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1138367271964537832006-01-27T08:07:00.000-05:002006-01-27T08:07:52.006-05:00

It is 7:30 in the morning, here. I'm eagerly awaiting the arrival of one of my best friends - a brother in all the ways that really matter, Adam. We've known each other for several years now, started out working together for the non-profit. We had the same job in different areas of the country and for whatever reason, just hit it off. Of all my friends, Adam has probably been the one most

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1138279628291107652006-01-26T07:47:00.000-05:002006-01-26T07:47:09.443-05:00

Woo Woo! My friend Wraith finally got around to putting up the Adoptive Plane he and "FarmerBoy" created!Absolutely go check it out!

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1138277838523280842006-01-26T07:17:00.000-05:002006-01-26T07:17:18.526-05:00

Because I feel funny commenting on my own blog, I just wanted to express my gratitude to those of you who take the time to read and comment on what I write here. Those notes you post mean the world to me. It is a very validating experience for me. I smile each time the system notifies me that there is a new comment. It feels so good to be heard. So thank you for reading, thank you for

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1138276965884068292006-01-26T07:02:00.000-05:002006-01-26T07:02:45.906-05:00

I am feeling a bit disgusted with reporters this morning. As if this wasn't enough of a tragedy, why is the fact that these poor little angels were adopted important enough to mention in both the headline and the story? Will their parents somehow grieve them less? Are we supposed to think, "well thank goodness they weren't the parents' 'real' kids"? What the hell is the POINT of even

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1138175118418465782006-01-25T02:45:00.000-05:002006-01-25T02:45:18.446-05:00

My friend Dan said to me today that it is like putting together pieces of a puzzle. That pretty much sums it up.I received my letter from IARMIE today. Here is what the important part said:the birth mother's age is given as 29 and the birth father's age is given as 31 at the time of the birth, the date and place of birth are May 17,1971 at Swedish Covenant Hospital in Chicago, Illinois. And no

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1138023952070098952006-01-23T08:45:00.000-05:002006-01-23T08:45:52.076-05:00

Guess what today is? Today is Monday. Ask me how I made it to Monday with my sanity intact. I'll tell you I don't know. Ask me why making it to Monday was so important.I'll answer, "Because today, my information from the IARMIE should arrive at my friend A's house. If he overnights it to me, it should be in my hands tomorrow or Wednesday. On the surface, this may not seem particularly

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1137506934666299122006-01-17T09:08:00.000-05:002006-01-17T09:08:54.686-05:00

I've been up all night working. I'll be heading to bed soon, but since I couldn't seem to get this off my mind, I thought I would write about it.Yesterday, I came across a request from another adoptee. She is "technically" an adult, by the laws of our nation. She is looking for someone to adopt her.God, do I know that feeling. I've had it a million times. I'm 34 and still looking for a mommy

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1137212862464831552006-01-13T23:27:00.000-05:002006-01-13T23:27:42.523-05:00

Yesterday was a good day. My husband got out of work early and I got to spend the afternoon with him. We had the chance to talk about some of the feelings I've been having, including the stuff I mentioned in the previous post that I hadn't told him yet. I explained how much I needed to feel as if he is really hearing me, hearing my concerns and my feelings. I think he is starting to

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1137131190224078122006-01-13T00:46:00.000-05:002006-01-13T00:46:30.303-05:00

I'm sitting here waiting for my hair treatment to finish soaking in, and I started looking through threads on http://www.eboards4all.com/74706/ which is run by "Sunflower Bmom."I come across a post, midway down the page - "Musician Dad Looking For Daughter," and my heart stops. Could it be? I remember that my old non-id said my birthfather was a musician - I've believed for years I inhereted my

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1137052666327544392006-01-12T02:57:00.000-05:002006-02-13T02:30:09.273-05:00

My new friend "J" wrote to me tonight. She reads this blog, so wave hi to her as she passes.I knew that if I didn't write my response here, now, that I probably wouldn't at all. I'd reply to her in private and never admit to this stage in my journey. I'd stay in denial. And I really don't want to do that."J" said to me - It's kind of a weird feelings, huh? Wanting to allow yourself to feel

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1137013050874312302006-01-11T15:57:00.000-05:002006-01-11T15:57:30.913-05:00

Well yesterday was a significant day in this journey I've undertaken. I sent in my registration to ISRR and to the IARMIE (Illinois Adoption Registry Medical Information Exchange) since I was born in Illinois.They both went in the mail yesterday. I was procrastinating a bit. LOLThe IARMIE allows us to include a 2 page written statement. That took me a while to write, but I'm glad I did. It

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1136591598272198602006-01-06T18:53:00.000-05:002006-01-06T18:53:18.273-05:00

This one was in response to a birthmom trying to understand why her daughter has begun to pull back post-reunion.As an adoptee who is not in reunion, and not even sure I want to BE in reunion, I don't think you are doing anything 'wrong.'As I've read over adoption discussion forums, I've noticed that many other adoptees share certain behavioral traits with me. One of which is a tendency to go

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1136591470504119312006-01-06T18:51:00.000-05:002006-01-06T18:51:10.503-05:00

This was in response to a birthmother asking adoptees our opinons on what roles we would like our birthmother to play in our lives.I think that it is key for birth mothers and fathers to remember something. The one person in this process who was never given a choice on any level is the adoptee. The state, the birth parents, the adoptive parents, the social workers, the agency, the lawyers, the

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1136591342598014872006-01-06T18:49:00.000-05:002006-01-06T18:49:02.596-05:00

Since I recommended this site to others, I thought I should probably post it here as well. Zabasearch is an online "phone book" which is considerably more extensive than most of the regular ones. You can search by name and state, and most of the results come with not only a current address and phone number, but PAST addresses and phone numbers as well. In addition, most results also come with

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1136591150937314412006-01-06T18:45:00.000-05:002006-01-06T18:54:25.326-05:00

The very first post I made on adoption.com was in response to a thread about "The Void." No irony there. LOLI suppose this is what started it all, so to me, it is worth archiving.I'm reading through this thread and many others and finding this feeling welling up inside of me. "Thank God I'm not the only one who..."This is my very first post here. I guess it says something that it would be in

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1136590592593989372006-01-06T18:36:00.000-05:002006-01-06T18:36:32.623-05:00

Because I'm posting on various discussion forums, I end up writing out replies to different questions which I would like to keep track of for future reference. Sometimes in the midst of a discussion on a forum, I find that I've come to some sort of understanding about my feelings which I did not previously posess. I don't want to lose those insights, so I'll be adding them here. I will try and

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1136519261022055552006-01-05T22:47:00.000-05:002006-01-05T22:47:41.060-05:00

I am all but bouncing in my seat. Tonight on the adoption.com forum, someone made a post about finding a poem tucked away inside a family bible.The poem was "Legacy of an adopted child" (read my post about it here) - it was published in "Teen" magazine back in the late 70's or early 80's in their "Poetry Corner." When the poster put it on the adoption.com forum, she included the author's name!

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1136415537462956602006-01-04T17:58:00.000-05:002006-01-04T17:58:57.536-05:00

I doubt this is going to make much sense, but I realized something a few minutes ago.I miss my brothers and sisters.Now, this really doesn't make any sense. I have never met them. I've never been in their presence. I don't know anything about them at all. As a matter of fact, the closest I've probably ever been to them was while my birth mother was pregnant with me before she went to live

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1136368468153602062006-01-04T04:54:00.000-05:002006-01-04T04:54:28.180-05:00

I was doing the same thing I do most nights lately, digging through old archived posts on the adoption.com forums, checking to see if anyone has been looking for me in the 6 years the site has existed. There are thousands, not hundreds of pages of these posts. Ooops.Anyway, I came across one buried away where someone asked, "How do I know if I'm a twin or not?"My brain broke.After researching

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1136307912760696692006-01-03T12:05:00.000-05:002006-01-03T12:05:12.783-05:00

Happy New Year everyone!So today, I mailed in my paperwork to the adoption agency so I can receive a new copy of my non-identifying information. I included a letter for them to place in my file in the event that anyone from my birth family comes seeking it. Pretty passive/aggressive behavior on my part. LOL "I won't look for you, but if you come looking for me..."I've also begun filling out

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1135107237081729282005-12-20T14:33:00.000-05:002005-12-20T14:33:57.126-05:00

I received my copy of "Primal Wound." I've read only the first few pages of it, but already, I find much with which I can identify. I don't expect to agree with everything I read, but it really surprised me to hear so many of my own feelings and behaviors spelled out so clearly by someone else. I wonder if most adoptees experience as strong a sense of wonderment whenever they find others who

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1134594137198473592005-12-14T16:02:00.000-05:002005-12-14T16:02:17.200-05:00

Another adoptee I've met on the message board for the Chosen Babies website said this in a post today. Thank you, Mia, for your permission to quote you!It struck me as an extremely accurate description of what has been happening to me. And obviously, it feels very good to have someone else voicing my own feelings. It's yet another acknowledgment that I am not alone in feeling this way. On a

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1134504587727151572005-12-13T15:09:00.000-05:002005-12-13T15:09:47.746-05:00

So again, I've spent a good portion of time reading on various adoption discussion forums. I continually come across statements similar to the following:"I know I am being dramatic and at 31 years of age should be able to put the anger behind me. I'm working on it." - from a woman expressing anger towards her birth father and adoptive mother."I feel dramatic about it too, I'll be 27 in a couple

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1134463611496552012005-12-13T03:46:00.000-05:002005-12-13T03:46:51.506-05:00

"In all of us there is a hunger, narrow and deep, to know our heritage, to know who we are and where we have come from. Without this enriching knowledge, there is a hollow yearning. No matter what our attainments in life, there is a vacuum, an emptiness and a most disquieting loneliness!" - Alex Haley, Author "Adoption Loss is the only trauma in the world where the victims are expected by the

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1134456866855446962005-12-13T01:54:00.000-05:002005-12-13T01:54:26.870-05:00

I suppose I should not be surprised, and yet, I find that I am. I realized earlier this evening that I am feeling more than a little angry that no one seems to be looking for me. Yes, I realize this completely conflicts with my stated stance that I'm not even sure I want to find my birth family. I'm a mass of contradictions about this whole thing, it seems. One moment, I manage to convince

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1134429827583917872005-12-12T18:23:00.000-05:002005-12-12T18:23:47.600-05:00

I took two plunges today, and I'm not sure what drove me to take them both at the same time.First, I called ChildServ aka Lake Bluff for information on reobtaining my non-identifying information. I had it about 15 years ago, but lost the file during a move. I'd like to have it again even though I remember much of what it said. Oddly, when I called and told the receptionist what I was calling

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1134072041546604592005-12-08T15:00:00.000-05:002005-12-08T15:00:41.570-05:00

As I've been considering what I want to share on this blog, it ocurred to me that some of what I write here is likely going to be very surprising to my friends. I think they are going to be surprised to learn that I am not the person I seem to be, surprised at the mask I show to the world compared to how I feel inside. I appear to be outgoing. I am not. I appear to have it all together. I do

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1134010662653637502005-12-07T21:57:00.000-05:002005-12-07T21:57:43.173-05:00

For years I've seen this poem floating around the internet always attributed to "author unknown." It drives me insane. And no, I didn't write it. But I remember the first time I saw it in print, in "Teen" Magazine, back in the early 1980's in their "Poetry Corner." I kept a copy of the poem for years and there most definitely was an author. I believe her name was Peggy or Patty. One of

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1134004252065111762005-12-07T20:10:00.000-05:002005-12-07T20:16:29.923-05:00

So it looks like I've got the site arranged as best I can for now. The more I consider this project I'm undertaking, the more I begin to consider that I may want to do this on my own domain. I'll be keeping that in mind as a possibility in the future. I don't like not having control of the 'back office' when it comes to websites, software and the like. In addition, if I end up with any

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19660936.post-1133971450279647552005-12-07T11:03:00.000-05:002005-12-07T18:19:55.823-05:00

I'm working on getting this blog set up. I don't much care for a lot of the 'default' settings in the templates, so I'll be working on configuring the style sheets to fit the atmosphere I want to create here.In the meantime, as an opening post, I just want to say that I am surprised at the lack of quality (and regularly updated) sites relating to issues adoptees may face. There are a number of

Heartenedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11709076654210226328noreply@blogger.com0